Revision Day — Apply All 6 Named Moves to Your First Narrative

Revision-moves chorus: teacher calls a number 1-6; children chorus the move name. Repeat in random order.

• Mix order to test retrieval
• Affirm and clarify any uncertainty

Today is REVISION DAY — your job is to apply at least FOUR of the six named moves to your draft. Use MG-15. Move 1: ADD SENSORY DETAIL — pick one paragraph and add one sense (sight, sound, smell, touch, taste). Move 2: STRONGER VERB — replace one tired verb (said, went, got, walked, looked) with a Tier-2 Set 7 verb. Move 3: COMBINE WITH A SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTION — find two short sentences and combine them with one of the 9 subordinators. Apply the comma rule. Move 4: VARY SENTENCE LENGTH — find a stretch of similar-length sentences and add a short punchy one (3-5 words) or break a long one. Move 5: SHOW DON'T TELL — find one feeling-statement ('I was sad') and convert to body/action/dialogue. Move 6: CHECK TENSE — read your draft aloud, listen for tense slips, fix with green pencil. Each move applied gets a sticky-note annotation in the margin naming the move.

• Five moves visible in 3 sentences. That's revision.

  model BEFORE: 'I went to the kitchen. Grandma was there. She said come help. I was nervous.' AFTER: 'I HURRIED to the kitchen, WHERE Grandma was already at the green countertop. "Come help," she whispered. My hands shook BEFORE I even touched the dough.' (Moves applied: STRONGER VERB on went→hurried; COMBINE with WHERE; STRONGER VERB and dialogue mechanics on said→whispered; SHOW-DON'T-TELL on I was nervous → My hands shook; COMBINE with BEFORE.)

  prompt Show a before-and-after exemplar paragraph.

• Name 4 of the 6 moves from memory.
• Which move replaces a feeling-statement with body/action/dialogue?

M-3-F-WR-15-A Chart

Reproduction of MG-15 at 11x17: 6 numbered move-cards in a vertical strip. 1. ADD SENSORY DETAIL (green, 5-senses icon strip). 2. STRONGER VERB (yellow, said→whispered arrow). 3. COMBINE WITH A SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTION (teal, 9 subordinator inset). 4. VARY SENTENCE LENGTH (orange, long-short stack). 5. SHOW DON'T TELL (purple, 'I was scared' crossed out, body-action-dialogue triple). 6. CHECK TENSE (blue, clock icon). Footer: 'A writer's CHOICE — use the move that fits.' Print-ready, dyslexic-friendly font.

MG-15 Chart

Revision-moves anchor (Grade 3 menu, expanded from G2's 5 moves to 6): 1. ADD SENSORY DETAIL (eye, ear, nose, hand, tongue icons). 2. STRONGER VERB (Tier-2 Set 7 list inset: whispered, muttered, exclaimed, hesitated, hurried, paused, glanced, replied). 3. COMBINE WITH A SUBORDINATING CONJUNCTION (when, because, although, since, after, before, while, until, if). 4. VARY SENTENCE LENGTH (short stack icon). 5. SHOW DON'T TELL (replace 'I was scared' with 'My hands shook and I held my breath'). 6. CHECK TENSE (clock icon). Print-ready 11x17.

• Read your full 4-paragraph draft. Apply at least 4 of 6 named moves. Annotate each move with a green-pencil margin sticky. Aim for at least one move per paragraph.

  scaffold MG-15 + MG-3 anchors at desk; Tier-2 Set 7 cards at table; sticky-note pads
• Self-check: tally your stickies. Did you hit 4 moves? Which moves did you NOT use, and why?

  scaffold 6-move tally card

M-3-F-WR-15-B Illustration

Reference image of a Grade-3 4-paragraph narrative draft with 8 margin sticky-notes (one per applied move, plus 2 extras): 'ADD SENSORY — smell,' 'STRONGER VERB — hurried,' 'COMBINE — WHILE,' 'VARY LENGTH — short,' 'SHOW DON'T TELL — body line,' 'CHECK TENSE — past consistent,' 'STRONGER VERB — whispered,' 'COMBINE — BECAUSE.' Each sticky points with an arrow to the green-pencil change in the text. Print-ready, classroom annotation style, dyslexic-friendly handwriting font.

• List the 4 (or more) moves you applied. For each, quote the change with green-pencil marks.
• Update your status-of-class tile (REVISE or PEER-EDIT for tomorrow).

• Hold up your most-revised paragraph.
• Predict: tomorrow we meet COM- and SUB- prefixes.

• Read your revised draft aloud at home. Ask: 'Does it sound stronger than the first draft?' Mark the strongest revised paragraph with a star.