Grade 1 Spring — Compound Sentences, Descriptive Writing, Verb Tense, Pronouns, and Workshop Revision
Lesson 9 60 min eng.g1.s.lesson_09.workshop_revision_strategies_intro

Writers Revise — Four Moves on a Draft

Skills targeted
Objectives
  • Students name the four revision moves: REREAD, ADD, REPLACE, COMBINE.
  • Students apply at least one named revision move to a one-day draft from their notebook.
Vocabulary
reviserevisionrereadaddreplacecombinedraftediting pen

Lesson plan

Warm-up

5 min

Show a one-paragraph draft on the board (pre-written deliberately weak: 'I went to the park. The park was fun. I had fun.'). Ask: 'What could make this better?'

Teacher moves
  • Receive every suggestion
  • Plant the seed that 'making it better' is REVISION
Media
M-1-S-WR-09-B Video Physical / non-image

90-second screencast. Camera on a paper draft 'I went to the park. The park was fun. I had fun.' Teacher voice talks through reading aloud, then 'I want to ADD a detail — when did I go? Sunday.' writing in green pencil. Then 'fun is a weak word — REPLACE with great.' Then 'these two sentences can COMBINE.' Final draft revealed at end. Caption track on; no sound effects.

Direct instruction

18 min

Today we learn what real writers do — they REVISE. Revision is NOT erasing. Revision is making good writing BETTER. We have four moves. (1) REREAD: read your own draft out loud to yourself. (2) ADD: put in one more detail. (3) REPLACE: swap one weak word for a stronger one (say 'shimmer' instead of 'shine'). (4) COMBINE: join two short sentences using AND, BUT, OR, BECAUSE, or SO. Today everyone tries at least ONE move on a piece they wrote in the Fall. We use the GREEN revising pencil so we can see the changes.

Key examples
  • Notice: the original three sentences stayed; we just made each better. That's revision.
    model REREAD aloud. ADD: 'I went to the park ON SUNDAY.' REPLACE: 'fun' → 'great.' COMBINE: 'The park was great BECAUSE I rode my bike.' Final: 'I went to the park on Sunday. The park was great because I rode my bike. I had fun.'
    prompt Teacher model: 'I went to the park. The park was fun. I had fun.'
Checks for understanding
  • Which move did I use to swap 'fun' to 'great'? (REPLACE)
  • Which move did I use to join 'The park was great' and 'I rode my bike'? (COMBINE)
Media
M-1-S-WR-09-A Chart Physical / non-image

11x17 anchor chart titled 'Four Revision Moves'. Four labeled boxes in a 2x2 grid. (1) REREAD with eye icon — 'Read your own writing out loud.' (2) ADD with plus icon — 'Put in one more detail.' (3) REPLACE with arrow-swap icon — 'Swap a weak word for a stronger one.' (4) COMBINE with link icon — 'Join two sentences with AND, BUT, OR, BECAUSE, or SO.' Bottom border: 'Revising is not erasing — it's making good writing better.' Done in marker style on chart paper, child-readable from across room.

Guided practice

13 min
Tasks
  • Each child opens their Fall notebook to one piece. Reread aloud in a whisper-voice. Pick ONE move to try.
    scaffold Strategy card with the four moves at every desk
  • Apply the chosen move with green pencil. Do not erase the original.

Formative assessment

4 min
Exit ticket
  • Which revision move did you use today? Circle one: REREAD / ADD / REPLACE / COMBINE.
  • Write one sentence about how the move made your piece better.
scoring Both answered + change visible in draft = mastery; named the move only = practicing; no change visible = reteach.

Closure

2 min
Moves
  • Author's chair: 3 volunteers read 'before' and 'after' of their move.
  • Set goal: try a different move tomorrow.

Homework

10 min
Tasks
  • At home, read your revised draft to a grownup. Tell them which move you used and why.

Exercises in this lesson

eng.g1.s.ex_22
Open one of your Fall pieces. Pick ONE revision move (REREAD/ADD/REPLACE/COMBINE) and apply it in GREEN pencil.
 revision apply one move · diff 3
eng.g1.s.ex_23
Pick a DIFFERENT revision move than your last. Apply it in green. Then write one sentence saying which move and why.
 revision explain · diff 4

Differentiation

Scaffolds
  • Strategy card at every desk
  • Pre-identified draft for children who would otherwise hunt forever
  • Teacher-conferenced pair work for IEP children
Extensions
  • Apply TWO different moves to the same piece.
  • Type the revised draft on a tablet to compare 'before' (paper) and 'after' (typed) side by side.
English Learners
  • Strategy card with icons + L1 translations
  • Permit revision-by-dictation (child speaks the change; teacher writes it in green)
Ieps 504s
  • Single-move requirement
  • Teacher hand-over-hand option for green-pencil work

Teacher notes

First exposure to revision-as-a-named-craft. Children naturally want to erase; teach the GREEN PENCIL rule (write the change beside or above; do not erase) so they can see their growth. Calkins' point: a revised draft should look messier than the original. Celebrate the mess.