Pass 1 CONTENT revision + writing conference

Read your draft aloud once before revision. Listen for any moment where you stumble — that's often a revision target.

• Affirm: reading aloud reveals what silent reading hides
• Tee up: Pass 1 is content-only — ignore sentence-level errors today

Today is Pass 1 CONTENT revision. Three-pass revision means we focus on ONE layer at a time. Pass 1 = CONTENT (thesis, structure, analytical depth, counter-interpretation). Pass 2 = SENTENCE (syntactic variety, concision, sentence-level craft). Pass 3 = MECHANICS (punctuation, spelling, conventions). Doing all three at once is the rookie move — and it makes every pass weaker. Today, ignore sentence-level errors and mechanics. Look ONLY at content. Pass 1 criteria (MG-23): thesis is specific, assertive, debatable, grounded (4 criteria) / roadmap previews body paragraphs / every body paragraph has a sub-claim that is a complete claim sentence / every body paragraph has embedded evidence + analysis / summary-vs-analysis ratio: at least 70% analysis / counter-interpretation acknowledged (NAME-EXPLAIN-COUNTER) / conclusion has a so-what. Use the PURPLE highlighter to mark any sentence that fails a criterion. Don't fix in this pass — just MARK. Then revise systematically. Also today: writing conferences. Each student gets 5 minutes one-on-one. Conference protocol (MG-24): student reads aloud their thesis and one body paragraph; teacher asks 3 questions (which sub-claim does this paragraph prove? where's the analysis sentence that does the most work? what's one revision target?); student names one revision goal.

• Pass 1 catches thesis weaknesses BEFORE you polish sentences.

  model FAILS criteria. Not assertive (announces, doesn't claim). Not specific (which diction? for what effect?). Revise: 'Angelou's concrete-noun diction transforms abstract silence into physical presence.'

  prompt Pass 1 check: thesis. Sample weak: 'This essay analyzes Angelou's diction.'
• The ratio test is the single best Pass 1 catcher.

  model Mark each sentence S or A. If <70% A, revise S sentences toward analysis.

  prompt Pass 1 check: summary-vs-analysis ratio.

• Pair-share: name 3 Pass 1 criteria.
• Cold Call: what does the purple highlighter mark?

M-7-S-WR-17-A Chart

MG-23 anchor: 3-band card with Pass 1 CONTENT (7 criteria) / Pass 2 SENTENCE (8 criteria) / Pass 3 MECHANICS (10 criteria). Color-coded: purple Pass 1 / blue Pass 2 / green Pass 3. Print-ready 11x17.

MG-23 Chart

Sentences I admire notebook anchor: 1-page template. INSTRUCTIONS: 'Across this term, collect 10-15 sentences you admire from your mentor texts. For each: (1) copy the sentence verbatim with citation (author, page); (2) name the moves you see (e.g., periodic / appositive / fragment / anaphora); (3) write 1-2 sentences on WHY you admire it (rhythm, precision, imagery, surprise); (4) try writing your own sentence in the same shape on a different topic.' EXAMPLE ENTRY: SENTENCE: 'Through every doubt, every silence, every long winter night, she kept writing.' (Mentor sentence). MOVES: periodic; anaphora ('every'); accumulating phrases. WHY ADMIRED: the delay builds anticipation; the final clause lands with weight; the repetition of 'every' makes it feel inevitable. MY IMITATION: 'Through every test, every late night, every doubt, he kept studying.' Bottom rule: 'Sentence-imitation is one of the oldest writing-practice routines. Imitation builds craft.' Print-ready 8.5x11 to glue into writers' notebook.

• Apply Pass 1 to your full draft. Mark with purple. Then revise the top 3 weaknesses.

  scaffold MG-23 Pass 1 anchor + purple highlighter
• Writing conference: 5 minutes one-on-one with teacher. Bring draft, MG-23, and conference-prep notes.

  scaffold MG-24 conference protocol + scheduling chart

M-7-S-WR-17-B Chart

MG-24 anchor: conference protocol — student reads aloud / teacher asks 3 questions / student names one revision goal. 5-minute structure. Print-ready 11x17.

MG-24 Chart

Writing-conference protocol anchor: 5-minute structure card. RULE: a writing conference is 5 minutes, structured. OPENER (30 sec): 'What are you working on today? What's the question on your mind?' WHAT'S WORKING (60 sec): teacher names one specific strength in the current draft — a sentence that lands, a claim that's sharp, an analysis that goes beyond summary. ONE GROWTH MOVE (180 sec): teacher and student identify ONE move to try (not five). Specific. Actionable. Example: 'Try opening this paragraph with a periodic sentence — delay the main clause.' Or: 'Your evidence here is strong, but the analysis stops at restating it. Add two sentences that name the diction.' NEXT STEP (30 sec): 'I'll see this revision when?' Conference logged in conference notebook (student name + date + growth move + next step). Bottom rule: 'Conferences are about ONE move. Five minutes. Specific. Followed up.' Print-ready 8.5x11.

• Name one Pass 1 revision you made today and the criterion it addressed.

• Restate: Pass 1 = CONTENT only; mark with purple; revise top 3 weaknesses
• Preview tomorrow's Pass 2 SENTENCE-LEVEL revision

• Complete Pass 1 revision at home. Bring fully-revised draft tomorrow for Pass 2.