Revision Day — Five Named Moves on Paragraph 1

Quick review of the 5 revision moves: REREAD, ADD, REPLACE, COMBINE, CHECK TENSE + CLOSING. Each move acted out in class chant.

• Tap each on bookmark
• Affirm that revision is making good writing BETTER, not fixing wrong writing

Today is revision day. NOT editing — revision. Revision is when a writer makes their writing BETTER. Five named moves. (1) REREAD aloud — slowly, listening for clunkers. (2) ADD a detail — pick a thin spot, add a sensory detail. (3) REPLACE a weak word — swap 'good' for 'delicious'; 'said' for 'whispered'. (4) COMBINE two short sentences — use AND, BUT, OR, SO, BECAUSE from Grade 1. (5) CHECK TENSE + CHECK CLOSING — every verb past? Closing sentence does more than repeat the topic? Annotate each move in the margin in green pencil so I can see your thinking.

• Two named moves on two short sentences. Margin notes: ADD and REPLACE.

  model Original: 'I ate the cookie. It was good.' Revision: 'I bit into the warm chocolate-chip cookie [ADD]. It tasted like home [REPLACE weak word 'good' with sensory phrase].'

  prompt Model revision on board

• Which move would you use if your closing just repeats your topic? (CHECK CLOSING — rewrite it.)
• Which move would you use if your paragraph has 6 short choppy sentences? (COMBINE.)

M-2-F-WR-17-A Chart Physical / non-image

Bookmark-style anchor (2x8 inches): five icons stacked vertically with move names. (1) REREAD — open-book icon. (2) ADD — plus-sign icon. (3) REPLACE — swap arrows icon. (4) COMBINE — link icon. (5) CHECK TENSE / CHECK CLOSING — checklist icon. Caption: 'Revision = making good writing BETTER.' Print-ready, dyslexic-friendly font, child-readable.

M-2-F-WR-17-B Diagram

Two-panel diagram. LEFT: paragraph in original draft (typed) with thin spots underlined and small margin annotations in red ('weak word', 'thin detail', 'closing repeats'). RIGHT: same paragraph revised with green pencil tracks visible (insertions, crossed-out words, combined sentences) and margin annotations naming the move (ADD, REPLACE, COMBINE, CHECK CLOSING). Print-ready 11x17, dyslexic-friendly font.

• Pair-share your one revision idea from yesterday's peer conference. Decide which named move it matches. Apply it as your first revision move today.

  scaffold Revision bookmark visible

• Count and list which named revision moves you applied to your paragraph 1. (Goal: 3+.)

• Hold up your green-pencil revisions for a peer to see.
• Tomorrow we begin paragraph 2 — the middle of your small moment.

• Read your revised paragraph aloud to a family member. Listen for ONE more weak word you could replace. Make a note for tomorrow.