Midpoint synthesis — Pass-1 STRUCTURE audit + writing conference 1

Quick-write: what is your capstone REALLY about? In one sentence.

• Affirm: the writer must hold the thesis at the midpoint
• Connect: today we audit structure

Today: PASS-1 STRUCTURE AUDIT of your capstone draft + writing conference 1. The 4-pass revision rubric (MG-11) has 4 passes — STRUCTURE / CONTENT / SENTENCE / MECHANICS. Today is Pass 1. The 8 Pass-1 criteria: (1) Audience-aware thesis in paragraph 1. (2) Audience choice named and consistent. (3) 5-9 paragraphs with clear organization. (4) Body paragraphs develop sub-claims. (5) Counter-argument present and refuted. (6) Conclusion with restated thesis and so-what. (7) Word-count target met. (8) Title is specific and audience-aware. Today: self-audit against all 8 criteria. Identify the WEAKEST area and revise. Then: writing conference 1 with teacher. The conference protocol: bring conference-prep notes (1 strength you see; 1 specific question; 1 area you'd like teacher input on). Conference is 5 minutes. Teacher coaches; student leaves with 2 named priorities. ≥4 conferences across the capstone arc — today is the first.

• Audience-consistency drift is the most common Pass-1 failure. Catch it now.

  model Revision priority: hold civic register consistently. Audit paragraphs 4-5 for register slips (third-person abstract phrases; jargon). Revise toward second-person, collective, concrete examples.

  prompt Sample Pass-1 audit finding: 'My thesis names audience as civic, but paragraphs 4-5 drift into academic register. Audience choice not consistent.' What's the revision priority?
• Specificity wins. Vague conference notes ('I think my essay needs work') don't focus the conversation.

  model Specific. The student names a craft question (thesis placement) and a concrete area (so-what for civic audience). The conference can address both in 5 minutes.

  prompt Sample conference-prep notes: 'Strength: my counter-argument paragraph is strong. Question: should my thesis come at the END of paragraph 1 or BEGINNING? Area: I'm not sure my conclusion's so-what lands for the civic audience.' What's good?

• Pair-share: name your weakest Pass-1 criterion.
• Cold Call: name one of the 8 Pass-1 criteria.

M-8-S-WR-14-A Chart

MG-11 anchor with Pass-1 STRUCTURE band detail visible (8 criteria with 4-point scoring per). Print-ready 18x24.

MG-11 Chart Physical / non-image

4-pass capstone revision rubric anchor: 4-band card with criteria per pass and conference connection. PASS 1 — STRUCTURE (8 criteria). (1) Audience-aware thesis present in paragraph 1. (2) Audience choice (academic/civic/creative) named and consistent. (3) 5-9 paragraphs with clear organization. (4) Body paragraphs develop sub-claims (not summary). (5) Counter-argument paragraph present and refuted. (6) Conclusion with restated thesis and so-what. (7) Word-count target met (1500-2000 typical; reduced/stretch noted). (8) Title is specific and audience-aware. PASS 2 — CONTENT (8 criteria). (1) Research-driven evidence in each body paragraph. (2) ≥5 sources integrated; ≥10 MLA-cited references. (3) Synthesis moves from G8-fall applied. (4) CEA paragraphs from G7-spring used. (5) Counter-argument is steel-manned (best version of opposition, not strawman). (6) So-what is clear and audience-specific. (7) Tier-2 Set 18 words used (≥5 of 20). (8) Etymology-informed diction visible in ≥3 places. PASS 3 — SENTENCE (10 criteria). (1) Formal register consistent across full piece. (2) Sentence-length variation (short / medium / long across paragraphs). (3) Verbals used deliberately (≥3 places). (4) Active/passive voice chosen deliberately (≥2 each justified). (5) Conditional or subjunctive used purposively (≥1). (6) No unjustified voice/mood shifts. (7) Cohesion within paragraphs (repeated key terms; thread-tracing — Williams). (8) Coherence across paragraphs (thesis-paragraph echoes — Williams). (9) Connotation-precise diction (no thesaurus-mismatches). (10) Sentence rhythm matches register (academic/civic/creative). PASS 4 — MECHANICS (8 criteria). (1) MLA 9th in-text 6-case precision. (2) Works Cited 6-source-type templates correct. (3) Hanging indent; alphabetization. (4) Pause-and-break punctuation (comma/dash/ellipsis) correct. (5) Dash-colon distinction applied deliberately. (6) Ellipsis-for-omission ethical. (7) Spelling verified with reference materials. (8) Title page / header formatted per MLA. CONFERENCE CONNECTION: each pass triggers a teacher conference checkpoint (4 conferences total during the capstone arc, one per pass). Print-ready 18x24.

• Pass-1 STRUCTURE audit of full capstone draft (5-7 paragraphs by now). Score each of 8 criteria 1-4. Note weakest 2.

  scaffold MG-11 Pass-1 rubric card; self-audit template
• Writing conference 1 with teacher (5 minutes each). Bring conference-prep notes. Leave with 2 named priorities.

  scaffold Conference-prep template; conference scheduling chart

• Submit your Pass-1 audit with weakest 2 criteria named.
• Name your 2 conference priorities.

• Restate: Pass-1 STRUCTURE first; conferences focus the work
• Preview lesson 15: Pass-2 CONTENT audit + research-evidence integration

• Apply Pass-1 revisions based on conference priorities. Continue toward 7-paragraph draft target by end of next week.