Concision — the 7-pattern wordiness audit (L.7.3.a) and coordinate adjectives (L.7.2.a)

Cut warm-up: 'At this point in time, it is interesting to note that there are many researchers who have made the decision to investigate the topic of Maya astronomy.' Cut as many words as possible without losing meaning.

• Collect 2-3 versions
• Compare for word counts and meaning preservation
• Tee up: today we name the wordiness patterns

CONCISION is making every word earn its place (L.7.3.a). The 7 PATTERNS of wordiness (MG-21): PATTERN 1 REDUNDANT PAIRS ('each and every' → pick one). PATTERN 2 EMPTY PHRASES ('in order to' → 'to'; 'due to the fact that' → 'because'). PATTERN 3 THROAT-CLEARERS ('It is interesting to note that' → cut). PATTERN 4 EXPLETIVE CONSTRUCTIONS ('There are many people who' → 'Many people'). PATTERN 5 HEDGE OVERUSE ('seems to perhaps possibly maybe' → one hedge). PATTERN 6 NOMINALIZATIONS ('made the decision' → 'decided'). PATTERN 7 PREPOSITIONAL PILE-UPS ('in the situation of the matter of' → cut). Target 10-20% cut. Concision is a DISCIPLINE. Also today: COORDINATE ADJECTIVES (L.7.2.a). Two adjectives that EQUALLY modify the noun take a comma between them. TEST 1 AND-TEST: can you insert 'and'? TEST 2 COMMA-REVERSAL TEST: can you reverse the order? Both yes = coordinate (comma). Either no = cumulative (no comma). EXAMPLES: COORDINATE 'a long, exhausting day.' CUMULATIVE 'a bright red ball' (no comma).

• Concision sharpens meaning. The original buried the claim in throat-clearing.

  model 'It is the case that' (Pattern 3 throat-clearer / Pattern 4 expletive — CUT). 'at this point in time' (Pattern 2 empty phrase — CUT or replace with 'then'). 'in the region of' (Pattern 7 prepositional pile-up — CUT 'in the region of'). 'made the decision to develop' (Pattern 6 nominalization — 'developed'). 'sophisticated and complex' (Pattern 1 redundant pair — pick one). REVISED: 'The Maya, who lived in Mesoamerica, developed sophisticated calendars.' Cut from 28 words to 11. 60% reduction.

  prompt Apply 7-pattern audit: 'It is the case that at this point in time, the Maya, who lived in the region of Mesoamerica, made the decision to develop sophisticated and complex calendars.' Cut and identify each pattern.
• Color and origin adjectives are usually cumulative. Quality adjectives are usually coordinate.

  model 'long exhausting' — long AND exhausting (yes); exhausting long (yes) = COORDINATE = comma. 'bright red' — bright AND red (no); red bright (no) = CUMULATIVE = no comma. 'careful methodical' — careful AND methodical (yes); methodical careful (yes) = COORDINATE = comma. 'delicious Italian' — delicious AND Italian (sounds odd); Italian delicious (no) = CUMULATIVE = no comma.

  prompt AND-test + REVERSAL-test on adjective pairs: 'a long exhausting day' / 'a bright red ball' / 'a careful methodical researcher' / 'a delicious Italian dinner'.
• Concision + coordinate adjectives are Pass-2 sentence-level moves.

  model [Student-specific. Coach for both patterns per paragraph.]

  prompt Apply both moves to one paragraph from your draft.

• Pair-share: name 3 of the 7 wordiness patterns from memory.
• Cold Call: AND-test and REVERSAL-test together — what do they identify?
• Thumbs: I can audit for wordiness (up) / I need re-explanation (down)

M-7-F-GR-15-A Chart

MG-21 anchor: 7-band card with each pattern named, defined, and worked example shown (before → after). Bottom rule: 'Cut 10-20%. The writing gets stronger.' Print-ready 11x17.

MG-21 Chart

7-pattern wordiness audit anchor (CCSS L.7.3.a): 7-band card. PATTERN 1 — REDUNDANT PAIRS: 'each and every,' 'first and foremost,' 'true and accurate.' FIX: pick one. PATTERN 2 — EMPTY PHRASES: 'in order to' (→ 'to'); 'due to the fact that' (→ 'because'); 'at this point in time' (→ 'now'). PATTERN 3 — THROAT-CLEARERS: 'It is interesting to note that...' / 'It is important to remember that...'. FIX: cut and start with the substance. PATTERN 4 — EXPLETIVE CONSTRUCTIONS: 'There are many people who believe...' (→ 'Many people believe...'); 'It is the case that...' (→ cut). PATTERN 5 — HEDGE OVERUSE: 'seems to perhaps possibly maybe...' FIX: pick one hedge. PATTERN 6 — NOMINALIZATIONS: 'made the decision to investigate' (→ 'decided to investigate'); 'gave consideration to' (→ 'considered'). FIX: turn nouns back into verbs. PATTERN 7 — PREPOSITIONAL PILE-UPS: 'in the situation of the matter of the resolution of the issue' FIX: cut prepositions; restructure. Bottom rule: 'Concision is a discipline. Audit every paragraph for these 7 patterns. Cut 10-20 percent — and the writing gets stronger.' Print-ready 11x17.

M-7-F-GR-15-B Chart

MG-20 anchor: AND-test and COMMA-REVERSAL test with worked examples for COORDINATE (comma) and CUMULATIVE (no comma) pairs. Print-ready 11x17.

MG-20 Chart

Coordinate adjectives anchor (CCSS L.7.2.a): 2-test card. RULE: Two adjectives that EQUALLY modify the noun take a comma between them. TEST 1 — AND TEST: Can you insert 'and' between them and the sentence still works? 'A long [and] exhausting day' — works = coordinate = comma. 'A bright red ball' — 'bright AND red ball' sounds wrong = cumulative = no comma. TEST 2 — COMMA REVERSAL TEST: Can you reverse the order and the sentence still works? 'A long, exhausting day' = 'An exhausting, long day' = works = coordinate. 'A bright red ball' = 'a red bright ball' = sounds wrong = cumulative. RULE: Both tests must say yes = coordinate. Either says no = cumulative. WORKED EXAMPLES: COORDINATE (comma) — 'a long, dark night'; 'a careful, methodical researcher'; 'a tired, hungry traveler.' CUMULATIVE (no comma) — 'a big red barn'; 'a delicious Italian dinner'; 'a strange old man.' Print-ready 11x17.

• Concision audit: revise 4 wordy sentences applying the 7-pattern audit. Label each pattern applied.

  scaffold MG-21 anchor; before/after deck
• Coordinate adjectives drill: sort 20 adjective pairs as COORDINATE or CUMULATIVE using both tests.

  scaffold MG-20 anchor; sort deck
• Apply both moves to one paragraph from your draft. Time-box: 8 minutes.

  scaffold Highlighter (yellow for wordiness; pink for adjective-comma issues)

• Revise: 'There are many researchers who have made the decision to study the long ancient Maya history.' (Apply concision and coordinate-adjective rules.)

• Restate: 7 wordiness patterns; AND-test + REVERSAL-test for coordinate adjectives
• Preview: 3-pass peer revision begins

• Audit your full draft for wordiness and coordinate-adjective commas. Apply revisions. Bring tomorrow.